A dear friend who is more than a dear friend – more accurately I’d say a very rare and dear friend for our friendship dates back to our early schooldays, emailed me this heartbreaking piece of news:http://sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/singaporescene/singaporeans-dying-away-home-134247626.html#more-id

I invite you to read it and share with me what you think. As for me, I was deeply affected by the article not because it’s fresh news to me because it really isn’t since I already was aware of this devastating situation in Singapore. But I was deeply moved to read about it and my worst fears are being confirmed as I figure that to make the headlines and draw 2K recommendations and more than 700 comments and responses from Singapore yahoo readers, this situation must have much worsened since I witnessed it myself four years ago!

The Canadian summer sky has finally broken through fiercely and relentlessly and I can’t help being amazed at how completely it has wiped out the memory of winter. At the same time, I know nothing will ever wipe out the fond memory of my beloved Mama who departed from this life exactly four years ago come Aug 16th after battling deteriorating health and inevitable old age. Mama was tiny in stature but sprightly and full of zest for life until then. Now I confess this has become a very sober warning to me ever since her departure. However now let me get back to the current news topic. Reading the article reminded me of the enormous distress and difficulty I went through to locate a decent nursing home for my Mama when the hospital would not have her any more after 6 weeks in the hospital and endless medical tests, they finally declared she’s just marking time and treatment-wise there’s not much more doctors can do for her. However they emphasized that her lungs and heart remain very weak and she has to have supply of oxygen at hand and nurse monitoring round-the-clock, they advised she should go to a nursing home and handed me a list of the approved/registered nursing homes to consider.

Without further ado, I embarked on my tour of 6 well-reputed Singapore-registered nursing homes. The tour was for me a big eye-opener to say the least. I must add that the 6 homes I shortlisted were ones I had either read or heard about and had some reputation. Two of them I remember I’ve supported their “Flag Days” certainly more than once although I’ve never visited their facility. And after the visit, I vowed I’ll not ever support their donation drives again! I found the atmosphere stifling, the living space very cramped and crowded, the bedroom tiny, plain, barely furnished, with a teeny window which lets in not much light. It’s really not much better than a prison cell, in my opinion. My husband who accompanied me on the visit remarked: “Oh, no! Definitely not here. If she stays here, she’ll wish she were dead!” And I totally agreed.

As I mentioned, these two are registered and reputable Singapore nursing homes. The only nice thing I can say is they maintain a degree of hygiene standard – the floors, walls, tables, chairs and toilets look like they receive regular cleaning which is not what I can say for some of the other homes I visited. But these two accomodation cost (three years ago then ) was $2,300-$2,500 monthly for each patient to occupy a shared little room with 2 beds! By the way, this is only the cost of accomodation and meals. Any medicine or treatments at additional charges of course.

After two days of relentless hunting, I found one which we felt confident wouldn’t kill my Mama. It’s still a far cry from home but what can we do? This one provided at least a minimum decent living environment. The bedroom is slightly larger than the others but it has wide windows and is bright and airy, most important I thought. Downstairs they have a small garden plot and a solarium at the centre of a sitting area or lounge. Best of all, we like the smiles and cheerful looks of their staff compared with many we noticed elsewhere who manage their place like prison wardens or army officers!

Yes it is shameful and embarrassing to say the least that over there in Singapore after blowing her trumpets about adopting all manner of “Best Practices” and boasting about having the “Best government” in justifying paying out the highest ministers’salaries in the world,
the less privileged citizens are deprived of even the basic welfare to enable them to grow old gracefully and die in their homeland. How do you define “Good Government” or the basic responsibilities of any government for that matter. If not by the reports and feedback of your own citizens ? I think it’s time Singapore wakes up and not simply boast when Singapore is rated among the top in some international polls that are based on quantitative measures, counting earnings of top earners in dollars and cents, totting up dry statistics and numbers. The measure of good government surely has to take into account qualitative factors as much as quantitative. In this case I’m not asking for charity – please don’t be mistaken! I’m pleading for basic human dignity for all, rich and poor, able and disabled, skilled and unskilled –  in a land of plenty.

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Reader Comments

Moreen Ng writes: Very refreshing indeed Nellie. I do agree that as for choices you do get them a little better over there as it is a relatively bigger place, like Vancouver which I love.. But to me it does not really matter as long as we make do with what we have and are contented with what is available. I do concur with you about the state of aged homes in S’pore. I have personally visited them and I think you have it better over there. It is really expensive to send a loved one here so how could a poor or middle class family afford it?  I feel that the government’s top priority should be to look into the needs of the ageing population instead of rewarding themselves with fat salaries, bonuses and pension. This is my main misgiving about the government despite all the improvements in health, education, housing etc. I suppose it boils down to ‘care and empathy’ the human qualities we should exude.
As for my spiritual growth I think I need to put a concerted effort to build a personal relationship with our Father.